"The Why Behind the What...and "Owning It."' I hope that is a good title for this post today. This post is about me and life lately and what I am doing as a Noonday Collection Ambassador. I hope you will take a few minutes to keep reading.
So many people ask me: “How’s the jewelry stuff going?” or “How’s the Noonday stuff going?”
So many people ask me: “How’s the jewelry stuff going?” or “How’s the Noonday stuff going?”
Thanks for being kind and asking how I am doing, even if you maybe don't understand what Noonday is and why I am doing it. This is exactly what I used to ask my friend and fellow ambassador, Amber, when I would check in with her about it.
Now being on the
other side of it, it is so different. It is so much more than
“jewelry stuff.” It is so much more than sales and the commission check I get
each month, although I am grateful for the blessing of a little bit of income
for my family. So for those who are interested, here is a little bit of the why behind the what I am doing. This is also for me to read and reflect back on in a year or a few years as my life changes.
For me, it is taking the verse Isaiah 58:10 seriously and
being the hands and feet of Christ, making opportunity for people that are "the hungry and oppressed." As uncomfortable as it makes me that others are oppressed and I
am not, this is the reality. I’m not sure why I get to walk around some of the nicest cities near Nashville, enjoying safe, clean playgrounds and school campuses, shopping at Whole Foods while drinking my greens, and delighting in the luxuries of online shopping. But I do. And it’s easy to
be comfortable with those things and there is nothing wrong with those things. In fact, those are some of my favorite things to enjoy.
And this is where it gets heavy, and this is not meant to create guilt. In my heart and in my head, I cannot sit in silence simply
enjoying life and all those things while others are suffering. This is who God made me to be. I knew in college, I wanted a job that would "help people." That was about the extent of what I knew. Then that desire became, "I want to help girls with eating disorders" and that's why I went to work with Mercy Ministries for 9 years. Now it is a bigger question of "How can I help people?" again. I recently learned I am Enneagram Type 2 - the Helper, so this makes SO MUCH SENSE. This is who God wired me to be, even though I feel so small in a world so big. Even though I feel helpless and like I couldn't possibly be helpful, I'm "owning it" as people say these days.
There is real-life poverty right here in
Nashville and all across the
world. There are real-life slums and real-life people who don’t know
how they are going to make ends meet tomorrow. There is real-life trafficking
happening, real-life injustice. It may not be a part of my real-life, but it is a part of the lives of many.
I know so many great people with great hearts, and we know
we are called to help, but I don’t think we always know how. There is a part of
us that is at a loss when thinking about these things because we also know we are called to take care of our own
needs and our own families and maybe we are struggling to make ends meet and
pay our bills each month, too. I
have told myself so many times: “When the kids get older, I will volunteer more” OR “When I have more money, I will be able to donate more…” OR “When this happens,
then (fill in the blank).” And all these things are true. I do intend to do
those things. But also, I find myself asking, "What can I do, right now?" "How can
I work towards solutions, right now?" "How can I teach my children to work and to
love others, right now?"
It is me reading Proverbs 31:17- “She sets about her work
vigorously, her arms are strong for the task...” and not being able to stop thinking
about it. I am not thinking so much about my hands and my work, but thinking
about the artisans working and making new lives for themselves and their
families because they were given opportunity. They just need opportunity. They
need opportunity to not place their children in orphanages. They need
opportunity to put food on the table. They don’t need a handout or one-time
help, but sustainable, ongoing opportunity. People need jobs. People need to
provide for their families. People were created to flourish.
So, that’s my update. I feel incredibly called to do this. But it is
stretching me so hard right now. I have so much pride, and at the same time, so much self-doubt to work through. I am uncomfortable with posting selfies and jewelry and sale flyers and thinking that some might see it as superficial or unimportant. It is hard to try to explain all this in a 60-second update when someone asks how I am doing and how it's going. (Especially if I think they are maybe just asking to be polite.) I don’t like
asking others to host trunk shows, but that is a part of what makes this work possible. I so strongly crave to be seen as genuine in this, and so the sales part makes me feel on-edge.
But I am getting past all those fears and little voices telling
me those things. I am working on "owning it." I am trying to find balance in how to be a voice for those I am called to be a voice for. And I am trying to create a marketplace for them. I pray God uses me despite my insufficiencies, because I believe this is important.
This is stirring up so much within me and I hope it stirs up action in the lives of others as well. This is way more than “jewelry stuff” for me. It is heart and
soul. It is necessary. It is part of my growing process as I learn and discover how God will allow me to serve others and fulfill the calling on my life. I am so thankful for those who see the purpose and support me
and, therefore, support Noonday Collection. To those that made it through this post, thank you.
