Life, conflict and allowing God to mend things.

This has been a season where God has really been opening my eyes to the hurt that exists in the world and also to how fragile and precious life truly is. Last month, a very loved member of our church passed away from a heart attack. I had really only met him a few times, but I can truly say, the entire church body has mourned this loss during this time. He was one of those people that was constantly ministering to others, just simply loving others through conversation and by his example.

Ever since his death, I have been thinking of my own life, and how God orders my steps and I don't know what the next day holds. This can be exciting, or terrifying, depending on how you look at it. When God helps you understand his sovereignty, and how you are not in control, He can really also shape inside of you the desire to truly put pettiness and "worldly behavior" aside.

Truthfully, most of the "pain" I have experienced in life has been through the actions/behaviors of myself and others. I think it is very easy for people to forget how much they have the potential to hurt other people through what they say or do. I also don't think people realize how GREAT their potential is to LOVE other people and influence them through what they do.

To put it most simply, believers need to understand that, as believers, you really should be developing the heart to love each other, sinful behavior at all, because you are asking God to make you forgiving and selfless. Like, don't gossip about each other. Or allow yourself to get jealous of one another. For the love, don't de-friend each other on facebook due to a disagreement. Or walk in anger with another.

God has taught me a lot about confrontation in the last few months. Yes, I work in a ministry, and he has been teaching me about this! Each day, I pray for any areas in my heart that are unclean. Any areas where I have unresolved feelings for another person. Yes, I get crazy feelings sometimes - I admit it. Sometimes, my feelings are due to things another person said or did, and I've also found that it is possible to fabricate feelings or situations in your mind about another person that really aren't even true! Regardless of why you feel negatively about another person, it is important to address it head on.

In my experience, I've learned that it is better to walk to someone directly and say, "Hey, you really hurt my feelings by what you said," or "Hey, you know, I was a real jerk when I said such and such. See, I'm stressed out, and I let things get to me, and I'm sorry for what I did." It really can be simple if you pray about it beforehand and let the Holy Spirit lead you.

By ripping the band-aid off and talking things out, we make ourselves extremely vulnerable, but the end results are that you develop a greater understanding of each other's hearts and are actually demonstrating God's love rather than allowing the enemy creep in to develop anger, jealousy or even fear. This is really important in marriages, too. I think a lot of marriages could likely be saved if spouses learned to communicate in a better way.

I read a great example in the Bible today in the book of Acts 15. Paul and Barnabas had been traveling together ministering and preaching to the Gentiles. In verse 17, Barnabas wants to ask Mark to join them, and Paul disagrees, because apparently Mark had "abandoned" them in the past - or in other words, ticked him off. So they parted ways. BUT if you read the notes in your Bible, and look in 2 Timothy 4:11, Paul asks for Mark to join him in his final days. He says "He is helpful to me in my ministry."

I like this. Eventually, God reconciled the two men. I would like to think that God mended whatever disagreements or discomfort they had. At the very least, he showed Paul that Mark was valuable.

So, there it beauty in reconciliation. My charge today - just love others that are trying to walk with God as you are. Address conflict head on, in a reasonable way, and see what God does with it. At that point, you will be more effective in helping the hurting than being the one getting hurt in the midst or even doing some hurting of your own.